8 Things NOT to Say to your Childcare Provider
Do you love your childcare? Or not? There are a few things you could do to make that relationship run more smoothly. Check out what not to say to your childcare provider.
People say some amazing things sometimes. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job as a childcare provider and I love my daycare families. I asked my childcare provider friends what kinds of things they have heard that bother them and they came up with a list of pretty insulting things people say about providers, so today we are going to bust the myths of what people think about childcare.
Things NOT to say to your childcare provider
Things your daycare provider may not tell you
- The number one thing providers told me is I HATE BEING CALLED A BABYSITTER! We do NOT sit on babies, EVER! We do not get paid $10 per hour per child to eat your food and sit on your couch and watch TV and keep an eye on your child. Actually, that sounds much easier, and $100 for a ten-hour day sounds pretty cool.
- Providers dislike when you call and ask for an interview and then don’t show up! Dude, if you asked to interview, guess what? WE PREPARED! We have printed up paperwork, changed into clean clothes so we don’t have to talk to you with boogers on our clothes, and rearranged our schedules so we can talk with you. If you changed your mind, that’s perfectly fine, but call and let us know, PLEASE! Don’t avoid our calls and messages so we are sitting here wondering if you are ever going to come. I have provider friends that have sat around waiting for hours and wasting their whole evening when the parent was never going to show up anyway. What a drag. I would hate that.
- This hasn’t happened to me in a long time, but it’s a pet peeve of mine. You say, oh I’m going to pick up little Johnny early….and then…. you don’t. Little Johnny thinks you are coming and he is cranky and sad that you’re not there yet. It breaks my heart to watch that. If you plan to pick up early and then you can’t, please send me a text so I can stop watching out the window every two seconds for you to come and do something fun with the kids.
- Here’s another one I really dislike that hasn’t happened in years, but it’s soooo rude. You say, can I bring little Suzie at 6 am to be to an important work thingy. Then I get up early just only for you, and you don’t show up until regular time or later…ugh, that’s so annoying. I know everyone likes to sleep as long as they can in the mornings and we are the same way. I don’t want to get up if I don’t have to. If you are supposed to drop off at 6 for a special situation we have agreed to and you find out your plans have changed, I would rather hear from you at 5:30 when I’m getting ready for you to get here than not. Any time my parents ask me to open early, I always say, YOU BETTER COME, and I mean it.
- Why don’t you get a real job? This is something my provider friends hear all the time, or it must be nice not to have to work, or I’d love to get to play all day. If you don’t think this is real work, you should try it just for one day. At home, you have only one or two children and it can get overwhelming sometimes, think about how it is with 7. Sometimes we don’t even have time to go to the bathroom. I know it’s hard to relate to what all goes on during the day with your kids, but dang, we work hard! We do it because we LOVE it. No one has ever said that to me (except for a few of my kids) but if they did it would really hurt my feelings because I know how hard I work.
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6. Another one providers HATE is hearing childcare is so expensive or you make so much money. We could revisit the $100 for a ten-hour day plan from above. It’s super expensive to DO childcare. I spent over $7,000 on food last year alone. Even though I bring in money, most of it is spent on my sweet little angels to meet all of their needs. I would gladly take any free toilet paper, tissues, or paper towels because I go through tons of money buying that stuff. I would hate to be skimpy with toilet paper. It’s important.
7. When something terrible happens on the news to a child in childcare, making comments like, childcare is awful, is hurtful. Like, that wasn’t us, or we wouldn’t be in business. Realize those of us who are still caring for kids do it because we want to give the best of ourselves. We are putting our hearts and souls into your sweet baby’s life and doing our very best to give them the best of us.
8. We hear this one constantly, home childcare is not as good as center care. Even our center working friends say this. Actually, the government says it too because they pay centers more for subsidy care. First of all, I have never had a parent say this to me, because fortunately, most of my clients have realized the quality they are getting from me and that I do put my heart into what I do. It’s amazing to me that herding a bunch of the same age kids into a classroom with a teacher is seen as better than multi-age settings where children are around kids younger than them and older than them. God created families with multi-age settings, and God knows A LOT! He’s smart and He knows that is good for kids.
Children learn many skills and self-confidence from watching older kids and mimicking their behaviors. Not everything they learn from older kids is great, but most of it is amazing. They see big kids and learn so much from that experience. They have more advanced language skills, motor skills, and critical thinking skills when they are involved with older children in a play setting.
Children learn many skills from younger kids as well. They learn how to be a nurturer (father, mother, or caretaker someday). They learn how to be careful and watchful and protect a younger child. They learn patience and taking turns because babies’ needs always come first. There is so much value in family childcare.
Click here to read more about the Value of Family Childcare.
Click here to read more about the benefits of multi-age settings.
In addition to the benefits of multi-age settings, childcare centers offer a less homey, comforting environment for children. They care for more children which increases children’s exposure to illnesses. Centers have a higher turnover rate and less continuity of care with one caregiver the child can bond with, and the list goes on and on. All that to say, that family childcare is very very valuable for children’s development.
What TO say to your childcare provider
There are many things it’s not okay to say to your childcare provider, but there are even more things you should be saying. You can tell your provider you appreciate their efforts and comment when you notice they are doing a good job or going above and beyond for your child. Click here to see how to appreciate your childcare provider.
Any post on this blog may contain affiliate links which pay me a very small commission for items you purchase using the links but costs you nothing extra. I can help defray a small percentage of the cost of producing the blog to share information with you.
You can say Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, or have a good day to your provider and realize they are a person and it’s nice to make them feel good. You can tell them things you see your child learning that you know they learned from childcare and let them know you are pleased. There are so many things you can say to encourage your provider to be her best. I think so much more of what I am doing because I’ve always had good parents that appreciated and encouraged me. I give my best, and they see that and let me know.
Think about how nice it is when your boss, client, or co-worker notices you are doing a good job and comments on it or encourages you. It’s great to do that for your provider too. If you think they have an easy job or get paid too much, try it out for yourself. I bet your opinion of it will be a lot different with a little experience.
Questions to ask childcare provider
If you need help knowing what to say to your childcare provider or how to start a conversation with your daycare staff, click on the highlighted link for suggestions. There is a right way and a wrong way to approach any situation and your provider deserves kindness and trust as she’s doing her best for your family. If you’re having problems with the care she’s providing, she wants to know and she wants to work with you.
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