Hey working mom. Yeah, you, over there, feeling guilty about everything…stop, you’re a good mom. Being a stay at home mom is a super hard, super rewarding, super amazing gift to a family. If you can stay at home with your kids, great. It’s wonderful you have that chance, and I’m so thankful for all the SAHMs out there. Not everyone can do that, and it’s OKAY!
Some moms have to work to support the family, because in today’s economy, it’s super hard to make it on one income.
Some moms have to work outside the home because it’s not their temperament to stay home all day, they need a career too.
Some moms have to work because they are the ONLY parent in the household and they have to work to feed and shelter their kids.
It doesn’t matter the reason you chose to work outside the home, what matters is the quality you put into parenting.
You know what mom? You rock! You are doing your very best and that’s awesome! I’m proud of everything you do to try to be your best for the people in your life and you should be too. If you forget something or drop the ball, let it go! We all do that. In the grand scheme of life, the little details are not that important. In 20 years, your daughter is NOT going to remember that you forgot to send her a quarter for candy cart one freaking Friday in her life! (Will she, Kayla? I cried so hard that day)
Do you know what else? Feeling guilty that you don’t stay home does NOT make you a better mom. It just distracts you from what’s really important.
If someone puts you down for working outside the home, turn that voice off in your head. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life! Only you know what you should be doing. You are rocking this mom gig with your best efforts and all you need to know is that.
- Daycare: You need a super awesome daycare to put your kids in. You need to KNOW that your child is being taken care of and not have to worry they are not. You need a provider who is open with you and allows you to ask questions and show up unannounced and be anywhere your kids are. If they aren’t, that should be sending you a huge red flag. Click here to see how to find a jewel in childcare.
- Quality time: When you are home from work, make sure you are not overscheduling your life so your kids get the best of you. Don’t put the kids in so many activities they never see you anyway even after work. Make sure to put down the phone or step away from the computer or TV and focus on your child for as much time as you can each day. Just because you work 8 hours a day does not mean you can’t be a top quality Mom. Just make the effort to be present with your child.
- Plan, be organized, and find balance between work and home: Make sure you get your life in order and keep up with it so things will run more smoothly. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. It’s easier to organize your day than put out fires all day long. Pack lunches, lay out clothes, and get everything ready for the morning the night before so you can start your day on a positive note. Make sure to have a central family calendar so everyone knows what’s going on when. Focus on the benefits your work for your company is giving to your family.
- Remember there will be good days and bad days, no matter what you do with your time. Nothing is perfect. No day is going to go 100% as planned. Things happen, it’s called life.
- Divide up the chores: Your partner should be able to take some of the load if you are sharing the load of bringing in family income. Make sure you are not trying to do way too much while everyone else is doing nothing. Older kids can help with chores, and husbands CAN too!
- Communicate with your employer: Make sure your boss or company knows being a mom is your priority. Family comes first and you need to work for someone who understands your kids have to have your care when needed.
- Eat meals together: Make sure you do your best to eat breakfast and dinner together as a family as many times as you can throughout the week. This makes a big difference in how your family stays connected.
- Take time for you: Working and being a mom is no small feat. Make sure you are carving out time to nurture yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about it. Taking care of you makes you a better mom and spouse, no question!
- Plan special family activities: Make sure you take family vacations where you can spend time with your kids with no distractions. Plan fun weekend trips to the park or other fun kid places so your kids feel special and are the center of attention part of the time. Notice I’m not saying ALL THE TIME, just once in a while, every kid deserves for it to be all about them.
- Make time for your partner: This full time working gig can make us forget about the person who is doing life with us. Make sure you unplug from being super mom sometimes and make time for your husband so he remembers why he wants to put in his best efforts too.
Remember, it takes a village to raise a child. In some families that looks like a mom, a dad, a daycare provider and some help from grandma. In some families it looks like a mom and a meem (grandma). In some families it looks like a mom, a daycare center and an evening babysitter. No matter what your situation is, know that you are doing your best and let that be good enough. The most important part of mothering is loving yourself and showing your child you do so they will love themselves. Don’t carry around guilt because someone else is a SAHM. Good for them, but it may not be good for you. That’s okay, you are rocking you!
Check out some other super great MOM posts here:
5 Things I Have Learned From My Mom, The Peculiar Treasure Blog
23 Lessons I Learned From My Mother, Ever Change Productions
Mother’s Day Candy Bar Bouquet, House of Fauci’s
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